Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Time's Always Right for Nature's Viagra

Andre 3000 of the group OutKast eats a banana, which is one of the foods that's good for guy's dicks.

It's the worst kept secret. Many young guys use Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra as party drugs. Some want to be sex gods. Others try to compensate for the dick-killing effects of alcohol and illegal drugs --sometimes with fatal consequences.

That's so fucked up. There's nothing wrong with young wankers. We get hard in a snap, we spew strong, and we recharge fast, but believe it or not, some among us want superhuman performance. Isn't there a natural alternative to all this?

There is. Eat some or all of these foods: almonds, celery, bananas, avocados, and watermelons. They're good for your dick. How do they work? They improve your circulation, and they relax your blood vessels. That spices up your sex life --food pun intended!

Want more? Exercise regularly and eat those foods. Conditioning exercises are best, such as jumping rope, doing wind sprints, and running stadium steps. The combination of dick foods and strenuous exercise makes you happier. You get hornier, your hard-ons get harder, you recharge faster, and you splooge more often.

This particular combination of diet and exercise is completely healthy. There are no side effects. There is no substance abuse. There is no psychological dependence.

Are there other dick-friendly foods? Yes, but they have some down sides. Garlic works, but it gives you bad breath. Chocolate gives you a thrill, but it can make you fat. Red wine improves circulation, but that's the last thing alcoholic guys need. Eating more broiled fish and chicken works over the long term: Just don't expect results overnight.

The best thing dick foods and rough exercise gives guys is confidence. Real men don't need drugs. Real men take care of themselves. Real men become good lovers the natural way. Real men work out, eat right, and fuck well.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Fucking Talk Like a Man!

A hot, naked motherfucker talks on his cell. He looks as if he had just showered and toweled off when he got the phone call. We imagine the call was a little long, and he knelt down, because he got tired of standing. This popular Internet image conveys the importance of voice timbre in a man's life. It is attributed to Sambag's Blog of

There's nothing that gives me a hard-on faster than a deep, resonant, masculine voice. I mean, a low voice can trump everything. A guy can be just a skinny-ass motherfucker with no muscle whatsoever, but if he has the voice of a man's man, I so want to start French-kissing him and fondling his package.

I was not so blessed in the speech department. I had a high, whinny, nasally voice that turned people off. It was so bad, everyone thought I was a girl on the phone! Then, I took up singing to mellow things out, but that only improved things a little bit.

Fortunately, I found the book Freeing the Natural Voice (1976) by Kristin Linklater (New York: Drama, ISBN 0-89676-071-5). I knew the Seventies were good for something besides disco music! The book is full of wild and weird exercises designed to help us discover more relaxed and more beautiful ways of acting, singing, and speaking. Classics include rolling your head while saying "hey" several times (96), chanting vowel sounds with your head tilted all the back (79-81), and singing Billy Button bought a bunch of beautiful bananas, as if you're musically walking up and down a staircase one time (159-160).

I like to work with a piano or electronic keyboard to see how low my voice can go. Also, the voice exercises with head tilted back are especially good for guys, because they stretch the throat muscles and help us develop those hot, deep, manly voices we all love.

Linklater's book almost implodes from all the Yoga relaxation techniques. (I told you it was a Seventies thing.) However, relaxing really is key. It takes some practice to undo years of stress and tension, which lead to higher, more defensive and annoying voice habits.

Perhaps the most surprising aspect of Freeing the Natural Voice is Linklater's attitude about projection. I grew up in a time when schools produced numerous plays without aid of microphones. From First Grade, we were taught to project our voices to the back of the auditorium, but Linklater cautions against voice strain during projection, which drains emotion from an acting performance. Again, we have to find more relaxed ways of filling auditoriums with our voices.

Everyday, I try to do a different voice exercise sequence from Linklater's book, and it's paying off big time. People treat you better, you become more popular, and you get more propositions. It's just like putting on muscle from periodization workouts at the gym. Now with deeper and hotter voices, we can talk our way to bed as well. Okay guys, get the book, work those voices out, and screw everything that moves!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Jack Off to the Jams of Giraffes!

Hey guys! Check out this fucking hilarious skit from Saturday Night Live (NBC). It starts as a short animal program by the Staten Island Zoo. Moderator Mark Potsic introduces a documentary about giraffes, produced by students from Staten Island Technical High School. Potsic admits he hasn't reviewed the video --a fatal mistake.

What follows is not the promised giraffe documentary, but a satanic rock video featuring heavy metal rants by giraffe cutouts, such as, Vampire blood runs through our veins! Our forked tongues wag, driving you insane! Testosterone-filled rock was never this funny.

In reality, Staten Island Zoo actually exists, along with Staten Island Technical High School. Saturday Night Live even used the actual Staten Island Zoo logo. The skit first ran on 1 November 2008.

Monday, July 6, 2009

I Would Do Anything for Sex, but I Won't Do That

Pete teabags Harley in their Sean Cody flick. Sucking balls is a more fun and relaxing alternative to labor-intensive up and down deep throating. The practice has also made a political splash. The recent conservative teabagger parties --against taxes and deficit spending-- inspired a slew of double entendre jokes across the political spectrum.

I hate giving head. I'm not much of a fag that way. I've never deep throated. I've never swallowed cum. I've never blown a guy for more than a minute: I suck the head, I slide my lips down the underside, and I teabag a little bit. I enjoy sucking nips more, and I do that longer. Then, I want to fuck!

I get away with it. When guys see my nice straight cock with ample precum, they instantly want to suck me. To be fair, I'm not demanding. I let my boys do what they want. They don't have to work deep throating me either. Besides, my G-spot is just below the head on the underside. It has a Latin name: the frenulum. (For a funny story, read the older post "How I Conquered My Ticklish Frenulum" 7 December 2008.)

Why do my blowjobs suck? When I screw around with a guy, I want to play. I don't want to work. Bobbing my head and neck up and down deep throating a shaft is not my idea of fun. I do 69 a little, but then I want to get on with it. Should I top or bottom? Let's flip a coin!

While we're on the subject, you can forget about rimming, also known as analingus, eating ass, and salad tossing. Keep your hepatitis, parasites, and other diseases to yourself! That's just plain nasty --and possibly life-threatening.

I know it's become popular, since gay porn is showing it more, but you can tell that a lot of the actors are disgusted by it. They lick just around the starfish or lightly lick it. Only a minority of porn actors go all out and eat ass with gusto. There's a good reason for this general aversion. It's an ass, guys! It'll never be Health Department clean, no matter how much you wash. (Enemas and douches are ridiculously unnecessary.) Want to finger? Let's use condoms. Again, keep it clean. I don't want the smell of crap all over our bodies and in the bed.

What the hell can you do with me? I'm mainly here to fuck, and I do good work. I'm multiorgasmic. I have several dry orgasms along the way. If I feel like blowing my load as a grand finale, I will. (To learn more about male multiple orgasms, read the older post "How to Become a Multiorgasmic Stud" --6 January 2009.)

What's the point to all this? The moral of the story is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to. If your boy has different sexual preferences, work around them. Have standards. If he pressures you to do something uncomfortable, disgusting, or even dangerous, show the selfish fuck the door and find another boy. There are plenty of guys out there who will respect your wishes.

You can always have sex on your terms. You may have to pursue dates a little more aggressively, but you're the man. You're the hunter. You're supposed to search for what you want. It's out there. Get it, studly.

Additional Photo Credits:
Pool Blow Job 2 -- Curtis (right) services Trey
     in their Sean Cody feature;
Latticed Window Nude 3 -- Unknown origin;
Standing Position 4 -- Joshua (left) fucks
     Curtis in their Sean Cody film;
Kneeling Position 5 -- Duncan (left) bottoms
     for Harper in their Corbin Fisher film.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Blogger's Precum Comment Wins Award

Hey there, motherfuckers! Your blog boy Juan Sebastian won a comment contest. The guys at celebrated their two millionth hit by running a competition for the best ten comments.

One post was "Name That Cock," which asked readers to match dick pictures to porn actors' names. For this story, I wrote the following comment: "Hmmm...from the looks of these guys' cocks, maybe I should do porn. Mine is nice and long with a good healthy head --and all the precum a guy could ever want! My boys instantly want to suck me when they see me naked. It's a work of art --and a fountain at that!"

This was from the heart. I wasn't bragging --honest! My boys do fall in love with my dick. At any rate, I won a free month of full access to, like four other winners. The other five won DVDs of gay movies from TLA Entertainment.

Most fun are some of the winners' pen names. The name 1latenight is straight forward, and two names are dick metaphors: Mickey's Mouse and Ray Poirier. (Pourier is French for pear tree.) Tallblond Viking might be interesting to meet. Of course, Aftersakajamie wins the Britney Spears "If You Seek Amy" prize. Possibilities include After, suck a Jamie; After, sack a Jamie; and After suckin', jam me.

Photo Credit:
Erect Penis 2 -- Tyler of Fratmen.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Gloria aestati / Glory be to the Summer

Nude model Nicolas C is a mysterious icon of summer love. Has he finished swimming? What is he looking at? Is that his boyfriend's reflection to the left? His backlit hair, neck, and shoulders almost beckon to be touched. The trimmed yet slightly grown out hair on his thick chest is very hot. He hasn't bothered to trim his legs and forearms. Is he following a new trend or was he just lazy? Does he pump iron or is he just naturally muscular? Did he break his nose playing sports? The broadness of the healed break adds a masculine toughness to his angelic face. He's covering his dick with a towel --a puritanical irony-- and his posture is defensively bent. Is his boyfriend teasing him about covering up? Is he trying to grab the towel? This reflects a current reality: Some gay guys are surprisingly modest in front of their boyfriends, when they're not having sex. (Photo courtesy of Cyprien Leym Photographie)

We meet for the first time at a typical place: a bar, a restaurant, etc. The setting isn't important. Our conversation is natural. We can't look at each other without smiling. It's so on. Later, I suggest we go to a park, a beach, or some other quiet place. There we kiss and feel each other.

We enjoy our perpetual embrace, but it's the simple things that are just as hot. I have waited a long time just to touch the side of your face. You have waited just to glide your fingers along the underside of my forearm.

The next night, we take off each other's clothes. We kiss, we touch, we admire, we compliment, we play, we wrestle, we tickle, we roll around, we sexually exercise. We're regular athletic guys. We start to fuck slow, but then build up to a wild speed. We lose ourselves in lube, screams, muscle, and pleasure.

We spend many nights like this --you and I. Our predestined relationship has no name. We don't know what will happen. We don't become jealous. We don't argue. We just enjoy each other's company, each other's body, each other's hot looks, each other's nature.

In the car, we listen to church choirs. In the city, we visit museums. In the gym, we admire our strengths. Outside, we perfect our game. In bed, we talk about everything in between workouts. We find beauty in places overlooked.

We are summer nights. We are songs of crickets. We are dark cool after bright hot. We are gods without names. Every summer, countless lovers read our scripture. They say our prayers. They repeat our rituals. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. Amen.

Additional Photo Credits:
Leap Frog 2 -- Forneus (top) envelopes Ryan in this
     Dylan Rosser picture;
Loud Trade 3 -- Trey (right) enjoys being topped by
     Kurt in their Sean Cody feature.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Revel in the Hot Comedy of Mike Polk, Jr.

Want to laugh and lust at the same time? Check out the comedic sketches of Mike Polk, Jr., on He skewers the corporate cubicle world with well-deserved satire in the Man in the Box video series. Polk plays Greg Bizjack --a rude running joke of a character name-- in an office full of pathetically inane co-workers. Driven crazy by their trivial passions, Greg often defeats them with his sadistic sense of humor.

Polk is also an incredibly hot guy. His sarcastic portrayal of Greg Bizjack reveals a smoldering sexuality. He's very masculine without even trying. You just know he's a real man. He constantly projects his alpha male status with effortless grace.

Polk as Greg gets naked in the Man in the Box episode "Full Frontal Layoffs," posted above. In spite of the strategically-placed shadow box, we see that Polk is a tall, toned, slim guy. He's no bodybuilder, but that's no matter. He has that provocative regular-guy form of masculinity.

Most people know Mike Polk, Jr., as Spanish Mike from the (One Semester of Spanish,) Spanish Love Song (2007). The video features Mike unsuccessfully serenading an indifferent Spanish-speaking girl. His broken Spanish is a devastating critique of the grammar-translation method of foreign language instruction that still plagues the United States. With lyrics like Mi mamá es bonita; mi gato es muy blanco, he lays bear the impractical limitations of traditional Spanish classes. (The more modern and effective communicative and immersion methods are better at teaching students how to get a date.)

The Runaway Box video was such an Internet sensation, that the Spanish cable station Telemundo invited Polk to sing his song to Kim Kardashian. Spanish Mike also made the sequel 2nd Semester of Spanish, Spanish Love Song (2008) with Erik Estrada, star of CHiPs (1977-83) and later of Spanish telenovelas. Polk rounds out his repertoire with other features, such as Boyfriend with Health Benefits.

In addition to, Mike is on, where his comedy is darker and more local. His blog and video clips gleefully target Ohio politics and the economic decline of Cleveland. The more sadistic comedy is another excuse to see our studly comedian in action.

Polk is seemingly Irish, with his red-hot hair, blue ray eyes, and a blinding white smile. In an e-mail interview, Polk said he was "Celtic as a pint of Guinness." He started his career by helping produce The Phat Phree (1996+), a satire magazine for college students. The publication later morphed into a book and a website.

"I started doing this malarkey in college at Kent State," Polk said, "writing for the paper, and campus TV, and have not grown up yet." Polk said he grew up in Ohio and that he's 31, but his My Space page says he's 54 --an obvious joke. He's most likely in his 30s.

Polk is also adept at guerrilla comedy. He kissed a male friend for The Today Show street camera, which generated a story on Access Hollywood. Polk also posed as an audience member on The Jerry Springer Show, and his on-microphone comments earned him a kiss from the transgendered guest. (That stunt was probably less spontaneous. It's difficult to believe that former Cincinnati mayor Jerry Springer didn't recognize Cleveland comedian Mike Polk.)

At any rate, Polk is easy on the eyes and he makes us laugh. Sounds like boyfriend material to me. He said, "Let me know how that suck-off poll on the side of your blog ends up. Some friends and I are making a drinking game out of it." We sure will.

By the way, what's his sexuality? His My Space page says he's straight, but his guerrilla antics are more butch gay. So, is he or isn't he? Who knows? Who cares?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Act Like You've Got a Pair: Kiss Your Hot Studly Guy in Public!

Public male kissing is a necessary requirement for gay equality. It's also a gesture of enormous beauty and eroticism, partly due to the sexual outlaw status. The normalization of male kissing will liberate all forms of masculine affection in the public arena. American males presently grow up starved for physical touch, due to homophobia --a state of affairs that Generations X and Y are struggling to change.

Focus on my new hot boy. He's handsome, talkative, and so into me. I couldn't wait for our first date. There we were: sitting close to each other at a restaurant. The conversation was going great. We couldn't keep our eyes off each other. I couldn't stand the tension any longer.

I told him, "Come here. I want to tell you something." We leaned toward each other, and I gave him a nice, respectable five-second French kiss. We smiled at each other, and I said, "Sweet!" He looked down and blushed. He's fucking cute that way.

Pan out to the restaurant. Our kiss caused a bit of a stir. A few people went into "Oh my God" mode. They didn't know they were being played. My boy and I weren't that spontaneous. We had talked about doing our first kiss in public before.

We thought it'd be a ballsy, bad ass thing to do. We'd so admire each other for taking a risk. We'd so get hot for cowboying up and christening our date in public. We'd win one for the movement and look as horny as straights do.

Switch to a medium shot of a college girl who walked up to our table with her man in tow.
"Are you guys boyfriends?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said. "It's our first date."
"Well, do it, do it, do it!"
We all laughed at her sexual cheerleading.

Move to a close-up of a baby boomer who approached us with his ex-hippie second wife.
"Hey," he said, "you shouldn't be here. This is a family restaurant."
"Oh, yeah?" I said as I stood up. "Well, what're you going to do about it?"
My date jumped up and told him to move on. (Whoa! My boy has balls! I couldn't wait to suck them. He shaves them, you know.)

That guy's eyes got real big. He wasn't going to win against two big, strapping boys. I mean, we probably didn't seem like alpha males sitting down. The wife tried to recover by threatening to complain to the manager. My boy told her to do it already. Our money was just as green as theirs.

That was the end of it --and the beginning. My boy and I were so psyched. We were so proud. We were so hot for each other. We wanted to clear the table right then and do it. It was fucking tough not getting naked that night, but we had promised each other no sex on the first date. The second one was a different story, and the third, fourth, fifth, and so on.

Cut to other public places. We're a couple of obnoxious frat boys. We cuss like motherfuckers. We laugh at each other's jokes. We push each other around. We put our arms around each other. Funny thing is, all the young straight guys do the same. What's different? My boy and I sometimes kiss out in the open, and of course, we go home to fuck.

We're not stupid. There are still places where we'd get shot. We find acceptable risks, we kiss, and we ultimately get away with it. Those who dare say anything instantly have two aggressive guys on their hands.

Kissing in public has made my boy and I better men. The constant risk-taking makes our blood race. It unites us. It makes our sex life better. We lose ourselves in each other's eyes. We also help each other in daily life. We look people in the eye more. We assert our interests more. We back each other up more. We'd do anything for each other.

Have our public displays of affection (PDA) actually helped us fall in love? My boy has talked about wanting to be in love. I've said it'd be great to be someone special in a guy's life. Gay male love is a rare commodity, but refusing to hide our affection is not just political. Rejecting invisibility has pushed us into a new personal direction. Is it love? I don't know. Stay tuned.

This is what I know. We enjoy laying bare our lust. We enjoy the intensified masculinity of it all. We enjoy commanding respect wherever we go. We enjoy building Rome one arena at a time.

Photo Credits:
Shirtless Kiss 1 -- Unknown origin;
Kiss in Clothes 2 -- Casting still for As the World Turns
     online spinoff InTurn on;
Asian Indian Beauty 3 -- Bollywood actress Pryanka Chopra;
Abercrombie & Fitch Jerseys 4 -- Twin models Kyle (left)
     and Lane Carlson;
Rowdy Football Players 5 -- Twin models Kyle (right)
     and Lane Carlson;
Boat Dock Couple 6 -- Unknown origin.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Follow the Bad-Ass Urban Acrobatics of 3Run

Whoa, dudes! Check this video out. It fucking rules. In Brothers' Journey, 3Run's Cole and Chase Armitage showcase their free running skills in various settings. The stunts and choreography are bad-ass, but they're also fucking beautiful. Cole and Chase glide through the air with athletic grace, and some of the park, coastal, and architectural settings take your breath away. It's an obstacle course on steroids.

3Run is a British production company specializing in free running. Their website is The British urban sport grew out the Twentieth Century French military obstacle course tradition, known as parcours in French and Parkour in English. Free running began hitting the media in the 90s. Americans probably know it best from the 2006 James Bond movie Casino Royale and Madonna's Jump video from the same year.

Free running is a combination of Parkour, acrobatics, martial arts, and good old-fashioned movie stunts. Those who like to watch skateboarding will love free running. It takes on obstacles that are out of reach for skateboarders.

The free runners I've seen are lean and mean. They tend to be on the tall and toned side. When they do their stunts shirtless or in muscle Ts, they're so fucking beautiful, man. Wish I could move like that. I'd love to impress a date with a free running move. Talk about sealing the deal. I'll start out slow and very, very safe. It's a dangerous sport, but that's why it's so fucking hot.

Additional Photo Credit:
Daniel Craig as James Bond 2 -- Casino Royale. Dir. Martin
     Campbell. Columbia Pictures, 2006.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Fuck Yeah, I'm a Butch Faggot! You Got a Problem with That, Buddy?

Bailey (left) and Jess show off their muscles in the Sean Cody classic Bailey's Fuck Buddy. While Sean Cody's website features some of the most artistic scenes in gay male porn, the claim about its actors being straight strains credibility. The Sean Cody men do not seem naive about gay sex.

Okay guys, here’s the deal. We've been wallowing in testosterone. We've been real men talking about manly things. We've rapped about sex, porn, sports, nudity, and bodybuilding, but we've never breached the subject of our effeminate counterparts.

We've called them fems, queens, flamers, sissies, fairies, nellies, pansies, fruitcakes, limp wrists, and girlie men. They've called us down low, closeted, homophobic, and self-hating, but behind all the name-calling is a debate that's raged on since the 70s: To be masculine or to be effeminate. That is the question.

I freely admit that the term straight-acting is problematic. We're gay men. There's nothing straight about our sexuality, but straight men don't corner the market in masculinity. There are plenty of straight men who are more feminine than the women are!

Masculine is a better name for butch fags. Masculine gay males love all things masculine: athletes, cowboys, tradesmen, policemen, military trade, frat/college boys, etc. They love the gym, they love muscle, they love sports, they love the locker room, and they love the world of men.

This is not self-hating or homophobic. This is just what gives them a hard-on. Masculine: The dick goes up. Effeminate: The dick goes down. Effeminate men are even more divided. Some want masculine boyfriends, while others like flamboyant ones such as themselves.

All minorities have internal divisions. Lesbians and gay men don’t always see eye to eye. Lighter-skinned and darker-skinned blacks don’t always like each other. Feminists used to call lesbians the Lavender Menace. Asian, Latino, and Hispanic are ridiculous names that ignore nationalism. Chinese and Japanese immigrants have different histories, and Puerto Ricans couldn’t care less about Mexican-American issues.

Gay males cannot argue away the butch/fem divide. It’s just something we’re going to have to live with. In fact, it’s a division that’s bigger than us. Every gay man has heard jokes about lipstick lesbians and butch dykes on bikes. Our lesbian sisters have a similar divide.

The so-called straight world is even worse. Weight gain and administrative power tend to masculinize women. Christian churches, with their constant denial of the body, feminize men. The sissy, limp-wristed family man is Christianity’s answer to the drag show.

Speaking of which, drag shows have been a source of comedy since time immemorial. Effeminate men shouldn’t complain when some people laugh at them. Drag is drag. It comes with the territory. We all enjoy RuPaul and that new Internet drag sensation Kelly. Role reversal has always been universally funny.

Some people have called the hypermasculine gay male culture a form of drag, that is, an affected behavior which tries to prove that masculine gay men are just as manly as straight ones. That’s too much of a stretch. Gay male athletes and gym rats aren’t overcompensating anymore than other men are.

Masculine gay men enjoy bulking up at the gym. They enjoy improving their sports skills. They enjoy the comradery of games and workouts. These activities are physically and socially healthy. The only difference is that masculine gay men appreciate the sexual side of all that male swagger.

Once in a great while, funny things happen in sports, but athletics mainly derive their entertainment value from competition and self-improvement. There's no comedy of gender role reversal here. Hypermasculine gay males are men’s men, not drag in any sense of the word. Even hypermasculine subcultures, such as bears, clones, and leathermen, are rather unfunny. They make interesting choices in clothes, but drag they aren't.

Rather than arguing over the rejection or acceptance of gender roles, gays should use their internal divisions to their political advantage. Hypermasculine gay men have more in common with manly straight men. Effeminate men, gay and straight, can compare notes. Lipstick lesbians can talk to regular girls, and butch lesbians can identify with their pushy straight counterparts. Lincoln was not always right. Divided, our house can stand.

Additional Photo Credits:
Moschino Jeans Boy 1 -- The effeminate Carson Kressley
     became famous through the 2003-07 Bravo show
     Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Shower Jocks 2 -- Three uncredited muscle boys hit the showers
     in The Brazilian Sauna by Sean Cody. 
Blonde Drag Act 3 -- Liam Sullivan plays Kelly, a rebellious
     teenaged girl, in the 2006 video Shoes. 
Gym Rat 4 -- Luke Guldan is better known as a model and a
     bodybuilder than an actor.
Beach Football 5 -- This picture's origin is unknown.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Walk the Walk of a Fucking Hot Male Model

Floridian Nick Auger causes a sensation by going commando at the 2004 Fitness and Model Expo (FAME) Model Universe Contest in Miami. Catwalking without underwear was the icing on his 210-pound beefcake. Auger took home the first place trophy and later made a splash as a fitness model.

Want to stop traffic? Practice your catwalk. I'm serious. Military men and marching band guys learn to carry themselves fairly well from all that drill, but modelling really makes you a hot motherfucker.

Male models have a determined walk --not too fast and not too slow. They have a cold stare. They look straight ahead as they walk. They're a little cocky --in more ways than one. They communicate confidence. They make everyone in the room want their dicks.

The first step to turning heads is that old stand-by: the classic pushup. Commit to one set of pushups everyday. Every man should do this. It improves your posture by pushing your shoulders back and opening your chest.

A good place to practice your walk is the gym. That's where you can find the requisite big mirrors. Another advantage is that no one will care what you're doing. Most gym members pose, flex, walk, and watch themselves do reps. They won't even notice you.

Face the mirror from a distance and walk towards it. Look straight ahead. Focus on an imaginary horizon. Counterbalance: When you step forward with your left foot, your right arm should naturally swing forward. When your right foot comes forward, your left arm naturally swings forward.

Walk with a slightly cocky attitude --but not too much! In this case, less is more. This should be so subtle. Too much shoulder bouncing looks cartoonish.

When you reach the mirror, stop. The feet should be square with the shoulders. Pause. Allow your body to lean back. Step back with your right foot. Turn and begin the walk back with your left foot.

Walk. Stop. Pause. Lean back. Step back with right. Turn. Step with left. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Practice.

Catwalks are more difficult than they look. They take a lot of practice. You can perfect your turns at home and at the gym, but you can concentrate on your walk everywhere! You should always be on. With time, it'll get you noticed, it'll make you more confident, and it'll make guys want to get in your pants. You'll be the fucking man, dude!

Additional Photo Credits:
Horny Stare 2 -- Argentinian Model Juan Miguel;
Undressing Jock 3 --  Channing Tatum;
Poolside Fuck 4 -- Aden rides Jordan's dick in
     Malibu Heat from Falcon Studios.

Monday, January 19, 2009

How to Chat Up a Boy and Get Laid

You see him. He's fucking hot. He makes you feel horny and scared at the same time. Your mouth goes dry. You take a drink, you muster your courage, and you go up to him. You say hello and ask him how he is. (Who needs pickup lines?) You exchange names. You ask him what he does. You talk in terms of his interests. You ask a lot of questions. You talk about yourself only when you have something in common. The conversation flows. He feels important. You don't have to ask about his hobbies for a long time. You're so in, man.

What if he doesn't want to talk? Well, move on, motherfucker. He's not interested. Don't take it personally. Some guys have things on their mind. Some have major problems. Some are just fucking weird. Some have the worst taste in men. Some are fucking slut whores looking for sex without conversation. Some are hurting and itching from STDs. It's not always about you, jerkoff. Get over yourself! Find the next fucking hot wanker who gives you a woody.

So you get a beautiful boy talking. You focus on his world. You don't get to hobbies for a long time. That's a good fucking sign. Conversation's an art, man. You work on it everyday. It pays off bigtime in your sex life. Time melts away. You guys talk for an hour --or maybe even two! You take his hand and ask him if he wants his fortune told. No one refuses. (What a slick motherfucker!) You don't know a lot about palmistry, but no matter. A little goes a long fucking way.

Now you go in for the kill. You suggest a walk. You guys go to some place secluded. You talk a little more. You hold hands, caress his back, whatever. You've done everything right. The first kiss is magnetic. It just seems to happen, but you only got close to him. You make it look like his idea, or a mutual one. All the while, you're in the driver's seat. You see, the snake beguiled him.

How far do you go on the first date? Do you just kiss? Do you feel each other up? Do you suck each other? Do you jack off together? Do you say the hell with it and fuck yourselves silly?

News flash: It really doesn't fucking matter. You do what you feel like. There're plenty of couples who fucked on the first date, and there're plenty who didn't. They're all together, because they're just so into each other. It has nothing to do with scoring base hits or home runs. All those first date questions are quaint, obsolete, old-fashioned. This is sex in the postmodern world.

You do what you feel like. You have a good time. You use flavored condoms. (The Coca-Cola ones are dick-licking good!) If something's not right, or you feel uncomfortable, you stop. You're the man. You're in control. You're supposed to enjoy fooling around.

You end on a good note. You don't act like an asshole. You still talk to the guy. You exchange cell numbers, because you never know. You might never see him again, but you maintain your drama-free zone by separating on good terms. Better yet, you might have found a good-time boy --that is, a friend with privileges-- or you might have a boyfriend on your hands. (They seem to come out of nowhere when you least expect them.) It depends on the chemistry and what you're both looking for.

Above all, you hit the showers after fooling around. You don't want a gift that keeps on giving. All tension goes down the drain. You're clean and satisfied. You're a fucking god. You smile when you look in the mirror. Great game, man!

Photo Credits:
Fully Clothed Kiss 1 -- Owen & Billy, Sean Cody 
     (Owen is on the right);
Talking Boys 2 -- Devin & Owen, Sean Cody (Devin is on the right);
Shirtless Kiss 3 -- Cooper & Owen, Sean Cody (Cooper is on the left);
Football Jock Play 4 -- Brent & Xander, Randy Blue (Brent is on the
Naked Kiss 5 -- Trey & Ken, Sean Cody (Trey is on the left);
Kitchen Fuck 6 -- Danny & Billy, Sean Cody (Danny is topping).

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Real Men Take Turns Fucking Each Other

Want a good laugh? Brouse any dating website, and you'll see the stupidest, most idiotic, dumb fuck comments about sex. Some guys say, "I'm 100% top," or "I'm a total bottom," or my favorite, "I'm straight as an arrow." What the fuck ever!

Gay, bi, straight, top, and bottom are nothing but social labels. They have nothing to do with what goes on in the bedroom. I've dated guys who swore up and down they were completely top, but when we got naked, they all spread their legs for me. I'd like to brag that I'm a notorious top flipper, but the truth is, it's not that hard to do.

All guys who fuck around with guys eventually come to the same conclusion: Playing pitcher and catcher is Paradise on Earth. Versatile: Now that's a label for hypermasculine motherfuckers. It fucking means something. Versatile means really experienced. It means no sexual hangups whatsoever. It means a guy who enjoys the full range of his sexuality.

A man's man fucks ass, and then takes it up his ass. What? He bottoms for some guys? Isn't that passive? Isn't that feminine? Isn't that being someone's bitch? Isn't that enjoying sex like a woman? Isn't that a flaming faggot thing to do?

Far fucking from it. A case in point: American military men are national symbols of masculinity. They defend the country, they fuck everything that moves --in several countries-- and they love --I mean, love-- having dicks up their asses. Why's that?

I think I know why. I enjoy fucking guys. I love how my dick feels when I top. I get off working a guy's ass and watching him cum, but a man's got to have some variety in his life. Playing pitcher all the time gets boring. That's why I ask my boys to fuck me sometimes.

The experience is totally different for me. Taking a dick up my ass makes every inch of my body feel so fucking great. Oh! It's not just my dick that's high, and the cumming is totally spontaneous. Man! That orgasm comes out of fucking nowhere. I can predict and control it while pitching, but catching's a different story.

I think military fuckers, like other men's men, really dig the world of difference bottoming brings. All that fucking teaches them what a riot being versatile is, and there's nothing sissy about it. Watch a Pierre Fitch video, if you want to see what an aggressive butch bottom motherfucker is like.

He says, "Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, oh fuck yeah, oh fuck yeah, fuck yeah, I love how you fuck my ass, oh, fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck me harder, fuck me harder, oh yeah, oh yeah, fuck me harder, oh fuck yeah, fuck yeah, FUCK yeah, FUCK yeah, FUCK yeah, OH, OH, OH, OH."

Love him or hate him. You've got to admit the guy's got balls. He tops and does ménage à trois like most gay porn stars, but his pièce de résistance is mean, rough and tough, loud trade while playing catcher. Topping and bottoming with aggressive enthusiasm is great fun, and it makes a man out of you.

Every guy should have a boyfriend to pitch and catch with. I think the straight world has so many problems, because males get bored out of their skulls topping their women. Some guys become alcoholic golfers. Others ask their girls to finger them, or worse yet, fuck them with strap-ons, but there's nothing like a dick.

For those gay guys who call themselves total bottoms because of lack of size, cut it out! Keep fucking. God gave you compatible partners to top. Find them. They're out there. Some guys really get off on the back door stimulation of a shorter dick.

The taboo against taking it up the ass comes from the Romans. To them, a real man penetrated males and females, but he was never penetrated himself. What a fucking lame tradition! Avoiding versatility is sexually ignorant and repressive. It's time to open up and enjoy male sexuality to its fullest extent. I mean, one million American servicemen can't be wrong.

Photo Credits:
Sex on Blue Sheets 1 --  Bailey's Fuck Buddy from Sean Cody
     (Bailey is standing and fucking Jess);
Sex in the Gym 2 -- Chris & Brodie from Sean Cody
    (Chris is playing catcher);
Military Trade 3 -- Man Up: Shane Frost, Alexsander Freitas
     from Falcon Studios 
     (Shane is feeling up Alexsander.);
Sex on the Couch 4 -- Clark & Ford from Sean Cody
     (Clark is bottoming.);
Sex on White Sheets 5 -- Pierre Fitch and Brent Everett
     from Pierre Fitch Online 
     (Pierre is bottoming.);
Sex by the Wall 6 -- Dave & Trey from Sean Cody 
     (Dave is topping.)
Russell Crowe as Maximus 7 -- Gladiator. Dir. Ridley Scott.
     DreamWorks Pictures, Universal Pictures, Scott Free
     Productions, and Red Wagon Entertainment, 2000.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Enjoy Video about Premature Ejaculators

"Jizz in My Pants" by The Lonely Island is a hilarious take on premature ejaculation. It first appeared on Saturday Night Live. Justin Timberlake has a cameo in this video. Can you find him?

How to Become a Multiorgasmic Stud

We were all premature ejaculators. We were teenagers. It didn't take much for us to blow our loads. Sex was so new. We came at the most embarrassing times. A funny video about this theme is "Jizz in My Pants" by The Lonely Island. It's posted next.

Anyway, with time, with more lovers, with more experience, we learned more self-control. We finally could penetrate without cumming. We could actually last a minute, then two, then three, etc. Finally, we learned to fuck.

Unfortunately, many guys never pass this point. Some screw for a while, cum, then quit. Others fuck, cum, and keep fucking, but feel tired doing so, because they're already spent. There's got to be a better way.

There is. Guys, like girls, can be multiorgasmic. It starts with separating orgasms from ejaculation. You can have fun learning this while jerking off.

Stroke your shaft with one hand and massage your balls with the other. When you approach the point of no return, stop. Don't cum. Just enjoy the dry orgasm. When the sperm in your dick simmers down, jack off again. Stop before cumming. Enjoy the dry contractions. Repeat again and again.

If you accidentally cum, don't worry. Practice again some other time. Learn when to stop without spewing. Find your borderline.

You may find after several dry orgasms, you won't feel like blowing your load. It may even be impossible. No matter: You'll be high from the dry throbbing.

When I fuck my boys, I can last as long as I want. We can do every position imaginable. When the guy is really hot, or I haven't jacked off in a while, I may have to stop a few times to have some dry contractions, but later I reach my plateau. Either way, I become a human dildo.

Dry orgasms make cumming more difficult, but that makes sex more fun. After fucking every which way, I have my boy lay face down, and I bang him fast and hard. I pound my guy's ass 240 times a minute. He fucking screams with pleasure. I lose myself in rapid repetition. My muscles glean with sweat. My banging becomes the best conditioning exercise ever. I pump on and on.

Slowly, sperm pressure builds inside my dick. I hold the cum back. My shaft gets fuller and fuller. I keep fucking and fucking, until finally, it becomes inevitable. I spear my boy with my deepest thrust ever, exploding inside him. He screams louder, enjoying every feeling of my final hit.

The Multi-Orgasmic Man

A good book on the subject is The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know by Mankak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava (San Francisco: Harper, 1996, ISBN 0-06-251336-2). Get it, read it, and enjoy the new jack-off exercises. Some of the Eastern philosophy may be a little too abstract, but focus on what's important: Fuck like you've always dreamed of. Keep your boys coming back for more. Be a god of all things sexual.

Photo Credits:
Acrobatic Doggie Style 1 -- Rodney & Wesley from Sean Cody 
     (Rodney is bottoming.);
Masturbating Hunk 2 -- Dan from Sean Cody;
Bottom on Top 3 -- Danny & Billy from Sean Cody 
     (Danny is fucking and jerking off Billy.);
Sex in the Kitchen 4 -- Danny & Billy from Sean Cody 
     (Danny is topping.);
The Multi-Orgasmic Man 5 -- Mankak Chia and
     Douglas Abrams Arava, San Francisco: Harper, 1996;
Crab Style Variation 6 -- Mitch & Curtis from Sean Cody 
     (Mitch is fucking Curtis).