Monday, January 17, 2011

Old Facebook's Getting Pissed; So, Take Off All Your Clothes

We're bad --according to Facebook that is. Last fall, our fan page got a warning for the picture above of Florida model Zack Vázquez. What's funny is that we really, honestly didn't notice that he was sporting a boner under his camouflage bikini swimsuit until weeks after posting it, and then we thought, "Well, it isn't that obvious." Hard-ons or no hard-ons, we just enjoy pictures of hot, strapping guys.

I liked this picture, because I imagined that I would be walking on a garden path one day, and Zack would jump out in front of me to show me something naughty. Facebook took it down, but then they put it back up! Go figure, but what really got us shut down after Thanksgiving was this nipple play shot.

Here, Jonathan is sucking Jamie's right nip in a still from their Sean Cody flick. We thought it was a nice, wholesome picture! This photo shows the guys from the waist up; so, we didn't have to crop it. Jonathan sucks at just the right angle for the camera, while caressing his friend's chest. Jamie is leaning back and looking like he's having the time of his life. He casually touches Jonathan's forearm, which heightens the overall impression of intimate pleasure.

Guys love to have their nipples serviced. It's just good, clean fun, but apparently the Facebook boobs didn't see it that way. They just thought, "Sex act!" and panicked. We could understand if it was a guy sucking on a woman's titty, but two men? Guys go shirtless all the time. If they want to suck nips on Facebook, they should be allowed.

Anyway, we sent messages to Facebook asking to be reinstated, and they finally gave us permission in December. We were gone for the holidays. So, we didn't reactivate until January. Our fans were happy to see us back, and they sent us some great "welcome back" comments, but wouldn't you know we got an additional warning for this picture?

This is Nick Ayler, looking all steamy and rugged. He's very manly with his big muscles and vacation beard. Facebook allows pubic hair. So, we thought this shot passed muster. I guess holding your undies around your dick is forbidden, even though there's no woody and no visible penis lines (VPL). In fact, we post VPL all the time, and no one says anything.

We recently put up this portrait of male swagger. The mushroom head of Matt Stone's half-hard dick is clearly visible, and his clinched fists, tightened six-pack, and rock hard physique complete the singular message of sexual bravado. He looks as if he wants to jump out his briefs and fuck the living daylights out of us!

Facebook allows pictures like this, even though we think they're way more risqué than Nick Ayler's shot. We understand that minors aged 13 to 17 use Facebook, but we can't make sense of the rules. The Statement of Rights and Responsibilities vaguely prohibits nudity, but doesn't define what's kosher and what isn't.

At this point, we're not going to worry about it. We'll try to behave and follow Facebook's byzantine photo policies. This is the second time we've gotten shut down. (The first was for profanity.) If it happens again, you can find us at the Facebook Masculine Gay Guys Censorship Shelter.

Why do we bother? Well, our fan page has really increased traffic to the blog. So, we put up with the puritanism and wish Facebook was a European company. The children in Europe grow up surrounded by naked pictures and statues, and they turn out all right. That's the trouble with some Americans. They don't know the difference between art and pornography.

Well guys, you've put up with this cocktease photo essay long enough. So, we leave you with Jeremy of Sean Cody. Here he is, naked and erect.

What a combination! His tall, athletic body belies his look of innocence, and that tool: a nice, long, hard shaft with low-hanging balls. He makes us want to do everything with him. Enjoy jacking off, you wankers. This is what being a gay guy is all about. We give ourselves the pleasure of lusting after good-looking men.

Photo credits:
Zack Vázquez and His Garden Boner 1 -- Unknown origin;
Nipple Play 2 -- Jonathan & Jamie from Sean Cody; 
     (Jonathan is sucking nip);
Nick Ayler Holding It 3 -- Unknown origin;
Matt Stone's VPL 4 -- Michael A. Downs for All American Guys; 
Gym Hard-On 5 -- Jeremy from Sean Cody.