Sunday, July 6, 2014

How to Keep Your Boners Solid as a Rock

I've found the sexual Fountain of Youth. The Spanish conquistador Juan Ponce de León (1474-1521) might have gone looking for this mythical place as a side project in Florida --even though he was probably more obsessed with finding gold-- but the magic elixir is neither a place nor a liquid. It's an unconventional food: citrus peel.

We talked about dick-friendly foods before in the post The Time's Always Right for Nature's Viagra. Almonds, celery, bananas, avocados, and watermelons are good for guys, but if you want to fuck fast and hard until your dying day, eat some peel of limes, lemons, oranges, tangelos, tangerines, and/or grapefruits.

How does it work? Eating citrus peel reverses arteriosclerosis, or hardening of the arteries. Plaque buildup in blood vessels actually starts in boys on high fat diets, but it doesn't usually affect their health until well into adulthood.

Why is this important? Well, the quality of your hard-ons reflect your circulatory condition. Good, rock hard erections depend on having normal blood pressure. The dick is literally a barometer of a guy's overall health.

In my sex life, I'd never given much thought to the influence of diet. I'd never had any problems. Then, I started needing more time to get aroused, and my erections weren't quite as strong. I could still stick it in my boyfriend, but this weakening bothered me.

I had my blood pressure taken, and sure enough, I had prehypertension. It was officially above normal. I wasn't having that. I still wanted to feel young. I still wanted to fuck like I always had before.

All my life, I'd heard that citrus peel reversed arteriosclerosis, but I'd never tried it. I bought some oranges, and washed them with soap, since fruits are manhandled by every grower, distributor, and grocer in Creation. Then, I started eating a half orange, including the peel, every morning.

At first, nothing happened, but as months went by, my dick returned to its teenager state. I was getting woodies at more inappropriate times again. Sure, thinking about hot guys or driving over bumps in the road made me hard, but sometimes I'd get an erection for no reason at all --as if I was 13 again.

Of course, I knew my cock was really healthy, when I started precuming again, while watching porn or writing this blog. Limp or hard, my johnson is back to being a regular fountain, when I think about sex. (I have to put a sock on it to keep my pants dry.)

My boyfriend asked me if I was taking something. My dick would go from zero to 60 in no time, and my renewed confidence made me hornier. I was having us flip fuck each other more often. We're proudly versatile.

Of course, to enjoy the maximum boner effect of citrus peel, you should do cardio exercise regularly. This is the magic combination. With clear arteries and good physical conditioning, you'll be ready to fuck anytime, anywhere. Keep your body clean: no smoking and no substance abuse.

To prove to myself that citrus peel was not just an old wives' tale, I had my blood pressure taken again, and it was normal. I also took a blood test, and all signs were healthy. It worked! I was officially a young motherfucker again. I started noticing other benefits. I could see better, hear better, my skin looked better, and my teeth were brighter. Many say I look younger now.

Citrus peel is not for the fainthearted. The citric acid can burn the absolute shit out of your mouth. If you have asbestos lips, well no problem, man, but if not, I find tangelos and tangerines to be milder. Also, drinking tea or eating a banana afterward can neutralize the acid. You can even mix the peel in a blender with your favorite food or drink. (Caution: Citrus and dairy products don't mix.)

What if your stomach isn't made of iron? I eat citrus peel every weekday morning, and on the weekends, I give my body a break. Experiment. Find the balance that works for you.

Are there milder alternatives to citrus peel? We mentioned almonds, celery, bananas, avocados, and watermelons, and they work pretty well. I've even heard guys rave about parsley and beets. (Beets? Gag!) Ginseng can make you sick. Garlic works, but no one will want to kiss you. Chocolate is beneficial, but it makes you fat. Red wine only helps non-alcoholics. Broiled fish and chicken are good for dick health, but they take a while to work.

There may be other mild options, but nothing packs a punch like citrus peel. Why? Other foods relax your blood vessels, but citrus peel actually cleans them out. When I eat it, I can almost feel it running through my circulation system. It gives me a little high. Above all, it makes me feel like a real man. I know I'm doing my dick --and my boyfriend-- the biggest favor.

The drug companies aren't going to like this. Who needs Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, when there's a natural alternative? Citrus peel doesn't mask impotence; it cures it. Why it can even combat prostate enlargement. No Flomax needed here. Peel can keep you pissing good and strong.

Combating arteriosclerosis with citrus peel has been part of folk medicine for ages, and the link between circulatory health and strong, frequent boners isn't rocket science. (Well, actually, in a way, it is.) The important thing is to just do it. Eat peel and exercise. Enjoy getting harder. Fuck well, my friend.

Photo Credits:
Hot Boy Showering 1 -- Colton Burnett by Don Elmore;
Juan Ponce de León 2 -- Seventeenth Century Spanish
Guy Holding Lemon 3 -- Unknown origin;
Gym Sex 4 -- Stu fucks Porter for Sean Cody;
Sitting Stiffy 5 -- Cole gets hard for Fratmen;
Wall Chubby 6 -- Todd Morgan by Ryan Boyd;
Beach Streak 7 -- Vicente by Mark Leighton;
Kitchen Nude 8 -- Matt gets naked for Chaos Men;
Watermelon Sausage Party 9 -- Unknown origin;
Stand and Deliver Position 10 -- Glenn fucks Pavel for
     Sean Cody.