Monday, July 6, 2009

I Would Do Anything for Sex, but I Won't Do That

Pete teabags Harley in their Sean Cody flick. Sucking balls is a more fun and relaxing alternative to labor-intensive up and down deep throating. The practice has also made a political splash. The recent conservative teabagger parties --against taxes and deficit spending-- inspired a slew of double entendre jokes across the political spectrum.

I hate giving head. I'm not much of a fag that way. I've never deep throated. I've never swallowed cum. I've never blown a guy for more than a minute: I suck the head, I slide my lips down the underside, and I teabag a little bit. I enjoy sucking nips more, and I do that longer. Then, I want to fuck!

I get away with it. When guys see my nice straight cock with ample precum, they instantly want to suck me. To be fair, I'm not demanding. I let my boys do what they want. They don't have to work deep throating me either. Besides, my G-spot is just below the head on the underside. It has a Latin name: the frenulum. (For a funny story, read the older post "How I Conquered My Ticklish Frenulum" 7 December 2008.)

Why do my blowjobs suck? When I screw around with a guy, I want to play. I don't want to work. Bobbing my head and neck up and down deep throating a shaft is not my idea of fun. I do 69 a little, but then I want to get on with it. Should I top or bottom? Let's flip a coin!

While we're on the subject, you can forget about rimming, also known as analingus, eating ass, and salad tossing. Keep your hepatitis, parasites, and other diseases to yourself! That's just plain nasty --and possibly life-threatening.

I know it's become popular, since gay porn is showing it more, but you can tell that a lot of the actors are disgusted by it. They lick just around the starfish or lightly lick it. Only a minority of porn actors go all out and eat ass with gusto. There's a good reason for this general aversion. It's an ass, guys! It'll never be Health Department clean, no matter how much you wash. (Enemas and douches are ridiculously unnecessary.) Want to finger? Let's use condoms. Again, keep it clean. I don't want the smell of crap all over our bodies and in the bed.

What the hell can you do with me? I'm mainly here to fuck, and I do good work. I'm multiorgasmic. I have several dry orgasms along the way. If I feel like blowing my load as a grand finale, I will. (To learn more about male multiple orgasms, read the older post "How to Become a Multiorgasmic Stud" --6 January 2009.)

What's the point to all this? The moral of the story is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to. If your boy has different sexual preferences, work around them. Have standards. If he pressures you to do something uncomfortable, disgusting, or even dangerous, show the selfish fuck the door and find another boy. There are plenty of guys out there who will respect your wishes.

You can always have sex on your terms. You may have to pursue dates a little more aggressively, but you're the man. You're the hunter. You're supposed to search for what you want. It's out there. Get it, studly.

Additional Photo Credits:
Pool Blow Job 2 -- Curtis (right) services Trey
     in their Sean Cody feature;
Latticed Window Nude 3 -- Unknown origin;
Standing Position 4 -- Joshua (left) fucks
     Curtis in their Sean Cody film;
Kneeling Position 5 -- Duncan (left) bottoms
     for Harper in their Corbin Fisher film.