Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Blogger's Precum Comment Wins Award

Hey there, motherfuckers! Your blog boy Juan Sebastian won a comment contest. The guys at celebrated their two millionth hit by running a competition for the best ten comments.

One post was "Name That Cock," which asked readers to match dick pictures to porn actors' names. For this story, I wrote the following comment: "Hmmm...from the looks of these guys' cocks, maybe I should do porn. Mine is nice and long with a good healthy head --and all the precum a guy could ever want! My boys instantly want to suck me when they see me naked. It's a work of art --and a fountain at that!"

This was from the heart. I wasn't bragging --honest! My boys do fall in love with my dick. At any rate, I won a free month of full access to, like four other winners. The other five won DVDs of gay movies from TLA Entertainment.

Most fun are some of the winners' pen names. The name 1latenight is straight forward, and two names are dick metaphors: Mickey's Mouse and Ray Poirier. (Pourier is French for pear tree.) Tallblond Viking might be interesting to meet. Of course, Aftersakajamie wins the Britney Spears "If You Seek Amy" prize. Possibilities include After, suck a Jamie; After, sack a Jamie; and After suckin', jam me.

Photo Credit:
Erect Penis 2 -- Tyler of Fratmen.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Gloria aestati / Glory be to the Summer

Nude model Nicolas C is a mysterious icon of summer love. Has he finished swimming? What is he looking at? Is that his boyfriend's reflection to the left? His backlit hair, neck, and shoulders almost beckon to be touched. The trimmed yet slightly grown out hair on his thick chest is very hot. He hasn't bothered to trim his legs and forearms. Is he following a new trend or was he just lazy? Does he pump iron or is he just naturally muscular? Did he break his nose playing sports? The broadness of the healed break adds a masculine toughness to his angelic face. He's covering his dick with a towel --a puritanical irony-- and his posture is defensively bent. Is his boyfriend teasing him about covering up? Is he trying to grab the towel? This reflects a current reality: Some gay guys are surprisingly modest in front of their boyfriends, when they're not having sex. (Photo courtesy of Cyprien Leym Photographie)

We meet for the first time at a typical place: a bar, a restaurant, etc. The setting isn't important. Our conversation is natural. We can't look at each other without smiling. It's so on. Later, I suggest we go to a park, a beach, or some other quiet place. There we kiss and feel each other.

We enjoy our perpetual embrace, but it's the simple things that are just as hot. I have waited a long time just to touch the side of your face. You have waited just to glide your fingers along the underside of my forearm.

The next night, we take off each other's clothes. We kiss, we touch, we admire, we compliment, we play, we wrestle, we tickle, we roll around, we sexually exercise. We're regular athletic guys. We start to fuck slow, but then build up to a wild speed. We lose ourselves in lube, screams, muscle, and pleasure.

We spend many nights like this --you and I. Our predestined relationship has no name. We don't know what will happen. We don't become jealous. We don't argue. We just enjoy each other's company, each other's body, each other's hot looks, each other's nature.

In the car, we listen to church choirs. In the city, we visit museums. In the gym, we admire our strengths. Outside, we perfect our game. In bed, we talk about everything in between workouts. We find beauty in places overlooked.

We are summer nights. We are songs of crickets. We are dark cool after bright hot. We are gods without names. Every summer, countless lovers read our scripture. They say our prayers. They repeat our rituals. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. Amen.

Additional Photo Credits:
Leap Frog 2 -- Forneus (top) envelopes Ryan in this
     Dylan Rosser picture;
Loud Trade 3 -- Trey (right) enjoys being topped by
     Kurt in their Sean Cody feature.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Revel in the Hot Comedy of Mike Polk, Jr.

Want to laugh and lust at the same time? Check out the comedic sketches of Mike Polk, Jr., on He skewers the corporate cubicle world with well-deserved satire in the Man in the Box video series. Polk plays Greg Bizjack --a rude running joke of a character name-- in an office full of pathetically inane co-workers. Driven crazy by their trivial passions, Greg often defeats them with his sadistic sense of humor.

Polk is also an incredibly hot guy. His sarcastic portrayal of Greg Bizjack reveals a smoldering sexuality. He's very masculine without even trying. You just know he's a real man. He constantly projects his alpha male status with effortless grace.

Polk as Greg gets naked in the Man in the Box episode "Full Frontal Layoffs," posted above. In spite of the strategically-placed shadow box, we see that Polk is a tall, toned, slim guy. He's no bodybuilder, but that's no matter. He has that provocative regular-guy form of masculinity.

Most people know Mike Polk, Jr., as Spanish Mike from the (One Semester of Spanish,) Spanish Love Song (2007). The video features Mike unsuccessfully serenading an indifferent Spanish-speaking girl. His broken Spanish is a devastating critique of the grammar-translation method of foreign language instruction that still plagues the United States. With lyrics like Mi mamá es bonita; mi gato es muy blanco, he lays bear the impractical limitations of traditional Spanish classes. (The more modern and effective communicative and immersion methods are better at teaching students how to get a date.)

The Runaway Box video was such an Internet sensation, that the Spanish cable station Telemundo invited Polk to sing his song to Kim Kardashian. Spanish Mike also made the sequel 2nd Semester of Spanish, Spanish Love Song (2008) with Erik Estrada, star of CHiPs (1977-83) and later of Spanish telenovelas. Polk rounds out his repertoire with other features, such as Boyfriend with Health Benefits.

In addition to, Mike is on, where his comedy is darker and more local. His blog and video clips gleefully target Ohio politics and the economic decline of Cleveland. The more sadistic comedy is another excuse to see our studly comedian in action.

Polk is seemingly Irish, with his red-hot hair, blue ray eyes, and a blinding white smile. In an e-mail interview, Polk said he was "Celtic as a pint of Guinness." He started his career by helping produce The Phat Phree (1996+), a satire magazine for college students. The publication later morphed into a book and a website.

"I started doing this malarkey in college at Kent State," Polk said, "writing for the paper, and campus TV, and have not grown up yet." Polk said he grew up in Ohio and that he's 31, but his My Space page says he's 54 --an obvious joke. He's most likely in his 30s.

Polk is also adept at guerrilla comedy. He kissed a male friend for The Today Show street camera, which generated a story on Access Hollywood. Polk also posed as an audience member on The Jerry Springer Show, and his on-microphone comments earned him a kiss from the transgendered guest. (That stunt was probably less spontaneous. It's difficult to believe that former Cincinnati mayor Jerry Springer didn't recognize Cleveland comedian Mike Polk.)

At any rate, Polk is easy on the eyes and he makes us laugh. Sounds like boyfriend material to me. He said, "Let me know how that suck-off poll on the side of your blog ends up. Some friends and I are making a drinking game out of it." We sure will.

By the way, what's his sexuality? His My Space page says he's straight, but his guerrilla antics are more butch gay. So, is he or isn't he? Who knows? Who cares?