The Time's Always Right for Nature's Viagra

Andre 3000 of the group OutKast eats a banana, which is one of the foods that's good for guy's dicks.

It's the worst kept secret. Many young guys use Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra as party drugs. Some want to be sex gods. Others try to compensate for the dick-killing effects of alcohol and illegal drugs --sometimes with fatal consequences.

That's so fucked up. There's nothing wrong with young wankers. We get hard in a snap, we spew strong, and we recharge fast, but believe it or not, some among us want superhuman performance. Isn't there a natural alternative to all this?

There is. Eat some or all of these foods: almonds, celery, bananas, avocados, and watermelons. They're good for your dick. How do they work? They improve your circulation, and they relax your blood vessels. That spices up your sex life --food pun intended!

Want more? Exercise regularly and eat those foods. Conditioning exercises are best, such as jumping rope, doing wind sprints, and running stadium steps. The combination of dick foods and strenuous exercise makes you happier. You get hornier, your hard-ons get harder, you recharge faster, and you splooge more often.

This particular combination of diet and exercise is completely healthy. There are no side effects. There is no substance abuse. There is no psychological dependence.

Are there other dick-friendly foods? Yes, but they have some down sides. Garlic works, but it gives you bad breath. Chocolate gives you a thrill, but it can make you fat. Red wine improves circulation, but that's the last thing alcoholic guys need. Eating more broiled fish and chicken works over the long term: Just don't expect results overnight.

The best thing dick foods and rough exercise gives guys is confidence. Real men don't need drugs. Real men take care of themselves. Real men become good lovers the natural way. Real men work out, eat right, and fuck well.