See Our Facebook Models Uncropped in All Their Naked Glory

Our Facebook portal Masculine Gay Guys drives a lot of traffic to our blog, but the puritanism of Mark Zuckerberg's leviathan is a pain in the ass. We've had to learn the hard way what the vague "no nudity"and "community standard" clauses actually mean. We've always known you can't post pictures of sex or dick, but we've been temporarily "disabled" for showing pubic hair, crotch grabbing, visible penis lines (VPL), and artistic nudity or all but dick (ABD).

The jury's still out on normal swimsuit or underwear bulges. We don't think Facebook likes them, and they've given us a little grief about it, but what the fuck! Guys have penises. They're supposed to have bulges. We can't very well ask male models to get castrated.

At any rate, we thought it'd be fun to tour the Facebook Hall of Shame. This is the photo gallery they don't want you to see. Here, our boys are undressed, uncropped, and uncensored!

We start with Ajay by photographer Dylan Rosser. Obviously, we had to crop him at the waist. Our readers loved his boy-next-door looks, and a few wanted to see more. When we sent the uncensored version through Facebook e-mail, we got in trouble. (Yes, Facebook even gets upset over e-mail between consenting adults!) Anyway, we celebrate Ajay's uncut dick in the uncut picture, as well as his ironic combination of sensuality and wholesomeness.

Anthony Green is one of many guys we have to crop at the waist sometimes. We're rabid fans of photographer Michael A. Downs' work for All American Guys, which by the way isn't a porn site. It's just a vehicle for male models, but it's way too hot for Facebook, with all its VPL and artistic nudity.

We trotted out this military VPL shot of Brock Yurich to protest the now-defunct Don't Ask; Don't Tell (DADT) policy. Facebook wasn't amused. How many times have we been "disabled"? We've lost count.
 

Facebook's "no nudity" ban even extends to vintage beefcake, which is older than the vast majority of our readers. Here is Bob Jensen, photographed around 1950 by Bob Mizer for his studio, the Athletic Model Guild (AMG). We're captivated by his tall, toned body.

Back to Brock Yurich, we hated cropping this shot by photographer Rick Day. Yurich sports an impressive muscular physique, but his large bubble butt practically steals the show.

For Halloween Week, we posted a cropped version of model Brad Greiner, but the full artistic-nudity picture is moodier and spookier. The tree pattern of sun and shadow on Greiner's body actually suggests moonlight and by extension, sexual dreams.

Some of our readers clamor for body hair, but most professional photographers still favor the shaved down look. This preference tends to relegate hairiness to bear and leather fetish pictures. However, Chase of Fratmen doesn't disappoint. His chest and underarm scruff make him look very manly, and his slight smirk signals an attractive cockiness, but the uncensored picture also reveals his beautiful, erect cock, which curves to his right. No wonder he's proud!

By the way, penis curving is normal. Some erections curve to the left, some to the right, and others curve toward or away from the body. (Mine is straight as an arrow --an ironic condition for a gay man!)

The readers went crazy over James Cooper, probably because of his baby face and big muscles, but his pose also calls to mind the top in the missionary position and the bottom in doggie style. We couldn't show his untanned butt on Facebook, but we can here. We think James should become the Coppertone Boy.

Occasionally, we come across models we just can't identify. So, this is Door Boy, for the sake of argument. The complete shot features an original nude pose. The guy also has big balls. His semi-erect shaft may be the below-average length of three inches, but it might reach the average five with a raging hard-on --balls not included in measurement.

Below average or not, I'd fuck around with this guy. Dick shafts that are three to six inches are perfect for my ass. Anything shorter can't get past my O-ring, and I can't enjoy a shaft that's longer than six inches. It's too uncomfortable. (Yes, there's such a thing as too long.)

Here's a steamy still from Scene 1 of the Hot House Video production Reckless 1. The film features a series of muscle studs who get it on in a warehouse. In our picture, Tony Mecelli stands and hugs Kyle King, after fucking him, pulling out, and jacking off with him. Kyle relaxes and strokes his own cock. The actors' post-sexual embrace adds a surprising amount of tenderness to their porn scene. We also love Tony's military cut and Kyle's goatee. Watching their athletic virility in action is almost a religious experience.

This second unsourced picture actually looked hotter in the cropped version, which implied that someone was sucking the guy off. We weren't far off base. The model shaved his big tool, which looks perfect for a date.

There's something about Jason Taulb that makes us cream all over ourselves. He's got a great body, but he also sports a just little bit of fat, which gives him a hot Everyman quality: a canvas for our wildest fantasies. Here he is with VPL.

Here's a more provocative shot of Jason Taulb in bed and ready for sex. He's a demigod. His muscles are great, and the slight amount of fat in his face and lower abs are endearing. This combination of the "perfect" and "imperfect" is especially seductive. (There's such a thing as too perfect; flawless guys can look rather douchebaggy.)

 

John Wahlberg of BelAmi Online posed for this life-imitating-art picture. The statue is probably a replica of one by the ancient Greeks, who idealized small, uncut dicks. They actually laughed and ridiculed large and/or circumcised penises. Boy, how times have changed! We Westerners still admire young, athletic male bodies, but big cocks are now objects of worship. Why, laughing would be downright sacrilegious!

We love this photo of Leandro Becker. It's from Terra: The Boy. We cropped it just below the arm, but the post-sex, morning intimacy still shined through.

Boy, did we ever get in trouble for this one. Jonathan (left) sucks Jamie's nip in a still from their Sean Cody film. We thought it was good, wholesome fun between two clean-cut, handsome guys. We didn't even have to crop the picture.  There's no midsection nudity to speak of. The shirtless guys are just enjoying themselves, but Facebook strongly disapproved.

This was a question of nudity vs. sexual pleasure. I thought since guys can walk around shirtless, this shot was acceptable. Now if Jonathan was sucking a woman's titty, then that would be indecent, because American women can't go around topless, but for Facebook, nipple sucking is foreplay, no matter who's involved.

Did you know we got shut down for a picture of shirtless Marc Dylan? We cropped this shot just above his trimmed pubes, but to no avail. When we got "disabled" this time, we'd had enough. We sent a nice message to the Facebook Team asking what was objectionable about the photo. We were very polite, and we said we weren't being argumentative. We just thought shirtless guys were okay, since they are standard fare in fashion shows, department store ads, and even Boy Scout publications. Facebook apologized for the mistake.

This mirror shot of Marcel Hans calls to mind the Narcissus myth. Of course, the picture is more impressive with the model's butt showing.

A cropped version of this photo would be ineffective, and the rumor among bloggers is that Facebook despises those black boxes that cover up the naughty parts, but all this talk of nakedness makes us horny for some gratuitous gay male porn. Here, Ryan rides Brodie's dick in a still from their Sean Cody flick. I worship athletic guys who get it on. I'm so pagan that way.

Matt S (left) kisses Charlie in a Dylan Rosser photograph. It's a very romantic shot, and like the zillion pictures we feature, it portrays gay love in a positive light. In the American political fight over gay marriage and equality, uplifting images such as this are an important step toward the normalization of homosexuality. During the civil rights movement, artists used positive images of blacks in a similar attempt to change the hearts and minds of segregationists.

It was a shame that we had to censor this classic image of Mike Mangione. Alan B. Stone took it in 1962, and we used a cropped version to advertise our blog post about the Canadian beefcake photographer's work. Note the quaint posing strap. It was illegal to show pubic hair before the late 60s, and it's an irony of history that Facebook is more intolerant than the censors Stone had to deal with.

There's no way in Hell that we could crop a 69 picture for Facebook, but this shot is another nice sex break in our photo gallery. Here, Andreas Stich (left) and Bobby Williams service each other in the porn film Hot Properties from Raging Stallion Studios. The actors' poses and the camera angle form an artistic composition --a rare feat in depictions of 69. Even the rug is beautiful.

We have no idea who this hot motherfucker is, but Facebook didn't like us testing the limits of pubic hair portrayal. The underarm scruff and treasure trail on his chiseled body bring us to our knees. We call him the Yard Satyr, since there's a lamppost in the background.

Christian Mousel got us in trouble for checking out his package and showing just a little bit of shaft. It's all his fault. It really is.

We were so slick on this one. In a still from their Sean Cody film, Ryan sucks Brodie. We cropped out Ryan, but we left his left hand on Brodie's abs. The censored version looks like someone is just innocently caressing Brodie's body, but we all know better.

We cropped just the tip of model Steve's briefs, since Facebook is a little squeemish about bulges. This is where our self-censorship gets silly. There's no VPL, since his underwear is soft focused, and this guy looks like he walked out of a swim meet or a department store ad, but it all depends. We suspect that the hotter the picture, the more likely we'll get reported. (Yes, Facebook censors with the help of a few frustrated, busybody wankers.)

Flynn is packing, but he also looks disarmingly shy. He may have been nervous about getting naked for the camera, even though Fratmen hardly qualifies as porn. It's primarily a website of solo masturbation films. Occasionally, the guys get together for circle jerks, but there's no fucking. Recently, the company has featured gay male oral sex on its companion site Fratmen Sucks! Anyway, we're sure Flynn has realized what he has and is now walking around proud.

We call this orphaned picture Steam Room, and it looks innocent enough, since the guy is covering his dick, but Facebook doesn't allow bare midsections without at least a jock.

This is a detail from a Made in Brazil #3 Magazine picture. We like how André Ziehe, on the left, and Renato Ferreira illustrate two reactions to nudity: ashamed vs. not so shy. They're covering their dicks with their hands, probably so that the magazine can appeal to a wider audience, but most young guys cover themselves in the locker room anyway, because they're paranoid about gays. Covering up when there's a camera around is understandable, but this exaggerated fear of homosexuality is just unmanly. Men should be brave --period.

At any rate, the entire picture features five guys, but the three not shown appear effeminate in their laughter, and we're just not interested in that. Masculine, the dick goes up; effeminate, the dick goes down. That's the way we're wired --no lies and no excuses.

We featured a G-rated version of Sean from Corbin Fisher, but his story is a sad one. He died on 26 March 2012 of a drug overdose. His real name was Matthew Edison Bremer. He was 22. Apparently, his drug use was a chronic problem. He was arrested for possession on 29 May 2010 in Brevard County, Florida, and received one year probation.

Is it morbid to lust after the dead? No, people still decorate their walls with pictures of Marilyn Monroe. Those who die in their prime remain forever young in their images. Admiring them simultaneously becomes a form of ancestor worship and a retelling of morality tales.

We conclude with Trey fucking Curtis sideways in their Sean Cody flick. You can almost hear Curtis' screams of pleasure. If we posted this one on Facebook, we'd be banned for life, and that wouldn't be fair to our tens of thousands of fans.

Our Facebook fan page has greatly increased our blog readership, but we have a fuckwad of a time dealing with people who don't understand the difference between art and pornography. (The censorship supposedly protects sexting teenagers from online nudity.) However, the Facebook Community Standards makes allowances for "content of personal importance," such as the statue David (1501-04) by Michelangelo.

We have a good mind to see if that's true. If we get warned or "disabled," we can say, "Hey guys, you wrote this exception. You can't disapprove." Of course, in our attempt to make sense out of Facebook's unwritten content rules, we can't understand its tolerance of male nudity in statues, but not in pictures. Isn't photography an art? Isn't a naked, athletic man just as beautiful in the flesh as in marble? Could it be that photos seem more provocative? Is a picture worth a thousand splooges?

Photo Credits:
Flexer and Pointer 1 -- Doug & Jake: Behind the Scenes, Sean Cody (Jake is flexing.);
Shower Floor Boy 2 -- Payne of Fratmen;
Other pictures are identified, when possible, in the article.