Enjoy the Ejaculatory History of Male Nude Art

 

I think the male athletes should compete completely naked in the next Olympic Summer Games, just like in ancient Greece. That would greatly improve their ridiculously low TV ratings! I mean, why the fuck not? Everyone admires the athletic male body, not just gay motherfuckers. The strong male nude is a great tradition in the West.

One of the most famous examples is Discus Thrower, better known by its Latin name Discobolus. The original sculpture created by the Greek artist Myron in 460-450 BC is unfortunately lost to history, but several Roman copies exist. One resides at the Main Spa Building of the National Roman Museum in Rome, Italy. It was sculpted in AD 140.

The hot discus thrower reaches a natural, bending-down height of 5' 5", and his toned muscles are handsomely proportioned. Apparently, Myron wanted to show athletic action in a more vertical and convenient plane for the viewer. It was meant to inspire lust, but the actual sport of discus throwing has long been more horizontal, in ancient and modern times.

The statue brings to mind another Discus Thrower, usually referred to as Discobolo in Italian. The volcanic ash from the AD 79 eruption of Mount Vesuvius preserved this fresco in the Villa Arianna of the Roman town Stabiae, which was near Pompeii. The painting is now housed in the National Archaeological Museum of Naples, Italy.

Here we're treated to a golden boy with a golden discus --a visual pun-- who is stocky and sweaty. He isn't actively throwing the discus, like his statue cousin, but he looks like he's about to. The image is also sexually charged. Athletes, as a rule, have better sex, because of their physical conditioning. They also work up a sweat while fucking, since sex, like sports, requires endurance.

Let's talk penis size. From ancient times through the Renaissance, the West generally valued small dicks. They symbolized intelligence and civilization. It was the mythological satyrs who sported big fucking erections, which implied barbarism and constant promiscuity. Our admiration for normal to above average cocks is a more modern idea.

Then, there was the hilarious superstition that said small-membered guys were more fertile, supposedly because their sperm was strong enough to travel farther down the vagina to compensate for the lack of shaft length. Well-endowed males, on the other hand, were allegedly more infertile, since their sperm was weakened from being "helped along" too much by the longer hose. Of course, this was all nonsense. Because ejaculation is so explosively efficient at filling the vagina with sperm, most men, regardless of dick size, can become fathers.

I myself like to call average penises "just right." To me, there's such a thing as too big, in spite of our satyric, size-queen culture. Guys with python-sized pricks sometimes have trouble getting dates, because no one wants that thing in them. Same way with men who can't reach three inches while hard. They can't get past my O-ring.

Anyway, we continue our artistic lust with Spear-Bearer, or Doryphoros in Greek. The famous sculptor Polykleitos created the original in ancient Greece around 440 BC, but again, this first work is now lost. Thanks to the mighty Rome yet again, we have copies, and this particular one was from Pompeii circa 120-50 BC. Like the fresco, it presently graces the National Archaeological Museum in Naples.

This dude is ripped! He has a thick chest, sensuous shoulders, big biceps, trim abs, and great legs. He's an all-around great lay. I wish he carried a replacement spear, but I can understand the museum officials' concern about potential damage the weapon might cause. There are too many crazed tourists running around these days.

Next, we have Marcellus as Hermes Logios --and what the Hell does that title even mean? Well, it's an idealized statue of Marcus Claudius Marcellus, who was a nephew of Caesar Augustus. Marcellus is impersonating the Greek god Hermes, but the Romans knew him as Mercury. The Logios moniker is Greek for "speaker," which is an ironic attribute for a forever silent statue.

The Hermes Logios impersonation was an artistic convention, which called for the depiction of a young, virile, filled out, clean-shaven man, who was also understood to be eloquent. Again, being articulate served Hermes well in his mythological role as messenger, but it seems like a running joke in sculpture.

The statue was most likely a grave monument for Marcellus, since he had died before the work was created around 20 BC. Marcellus the statue stands at a normal 5' 9" height and is now housed in The Louvre in Paris. In addition, the toga draped down to the floor is an ingenious way to give the marble statue that extra support. Stone and marble renderings of the human body, unlike bronze, tend to be top heavy and prone to cracking and falling. That's why Discobolus and Doryphorus sport stump-like appendages.

Finally, we come to David by Michelangelo, the quintessential gay symbol. If you don't have a healthy appreciation for this statue, you need to turn in your gay card. It's that important to our heritage. Michelangelo carved it in AD 1501-04, and it now stands in the Gallery of the Academy in Florence, Italy. Unlike the previous works we have seen, it sports a massive height of 17 feet. The statue's tall, muscular body and angelic face automatically command respect. Were he alive today, David would be a charismatic man's man.

Much of the athletic beauty of the work comes from its potential energy and its masterful stroke in military deception. David is preparing for battle with the Philistine Goliath, armed only with a sling. He has just refused to don sword and armor, since he has protected his father's sheep from lions and bears without military equipment. He's completely naked, and this apparent vulnerability apparently gives Goliath a false sense of confidence. David's decision to fight Goliath as the Israelite army's proxy seems foolhardy, but with one stone, the youth kills Goliath.

There's a surprising dignity in David's pose, expression, and naked athleticism. This stands in ironic contrast to Goliath's mocking of David and the ranks of Israel. In many ways, the statue represents a new Adam. He's a strikingly handsome creation of God, who's about to single handedly protect God's people. Naturally, gay guys are drawn to David's male beauty, as well as his decision to stand up to a bully, even against all odds.

Well, guys, I don't know about you, but all this talk of male nude art makes me horny as Hell. I'm going to fuck around with my husband, who's a Greek god muscle boy in his own right. You see, I not only appreciate built male nudes, I enjoy worshiping one at home.

 

 

Photo credits:

Discus Thrower Statue 1 -- Livioandronico2013;

Discus Thrower Fresco 2-- Olivierw;

Two Nude Jocks on Dock 3 -- Kyle (left) and Lane Carlson;

Spear Bearer 4 -- Tetraklys;

Marcellus as Hermes Logios 5 -- Alphanidon;

David by Michelangelo 6 -- Livioandronico2013;

Two Nude Dudes Fucking 7 -- Brandon fucks Brodie for

     Sean Cody.